The Stormy Search For The Self

I could no longer hide from the truth that there was a great disturbance in the mind-body complex. Its root or cause was unknown, what was always known is that it was not always this way. So there must be a way out. This realisation happened in 1995 when I decided to begin painting and meditation.

The following work is a reflection of this beginning search to understand my self, know myself or at times just a release. Why such emotions, sensations, reactions and thoughts were part of this life. Why such experiences could not be accepted as part of life.

Meditation gives me the opportunity to have great clarity at times. To observe the mind-body complex in process. To investigate the roots and causes as they manifest.

As far as I can understand, there is no defined point. No past moment to blame or say this is the exact cause. No experience, thought, word or person.

The self is formed through a series of moments in time, always changing. The storm in the self is when we get stuck in a moment and are unable to be open, innocent to the next one.

I don't trust any other more than Aldous Huxley on this subject, "There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that is your own self. So you have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterwards, when you have worked on your own corner."